I’m combining my Christmas and New Year posts. Being on the road… you get TWO 🙂
Today is Christmas Eve! Where HAS this year gone? So quickly it has passed and it seems to me that sometimes it went by faster than last year but we all know that we’re given 24 hours in each day-365 days each year (except for leap year of course.)
This day wraps up the Advent season-a season of anticipation and waiting. Having given birth a time or four, I have some idea of what Mary might have been going through as she awaited the arrival of her firstborn. I know that I did!
Today as I sit next to the bedside of my firstborn, I wait too. I wait for him to open his eyes and show some sign of recovery; the chance to ask for a smooch and maybe even write on the white board to tell me something he wants or needs. WAITING! Something I’ve always considered myself to be good at. But I confess, I get frustrated at times as I wait for John-MY firstborn to show some more action, more activity, more alertness … just a little bit Lord!
I know my God is faithful and will give me that sign-but the waiting can be agonizing at times. I know it will happen, that occasion when I will see his weak smile, when he will be stronger-strong enough to make his needs and wants understood. WAITING! I quote scripture to myself to re-gain the patience, especially when John takes a step backward. When that happens my faith gets a little weaker, my hope waivers, and I cry-WHY!
As I think I’ve said before, when I get into the “why me God” place I remember Job who lost so much more and was also physically afflicted much more than my arthritis and achiness that comes with getting older. I remember what the Lord said to Job: “Where were YOU when I created the universe” or something to that effect. And then comes the comfort after the correction: “Be still and know that I am God”. Not the easiest thing to do at times but then I find a quiet place and thank Him for loving me so much.
December 31, 2012
I never got around to posting my Christmas Eve thoughts. And now, here it is-the last day of 2012! Son John had a setback and is back in St. Joseph’s Hospital. Son Kevin had a birthday too! I was surprised by my brother Bud arriving here for a couple of days, from Las Vegas, too! And tonight, going to ring in the New Year with my grand kids Lily and Damian!
As I sit here while John sleeps, I’m also thinking about what 2013 will bring. For one-I’m going to turn SIXTY on my next birthday in February. At last I’m comfortable with this “getting older” stuff. Well, sorta :). I’m trying to think of things I’d like to do this coming year. Goals, tasks big and small ,that never seem to get started, or if they do, don’t get as completely finished as I’d like. Most of my hopes for 2013 I really have no control over. Productive work for Kevin, less stress for daughter Kim. Freedom for Eric, and of course, recovery for John. Peace for his wife, and all the joy and love that can be had for my grandchildren. All that being said-I truly don’t want for much but desire much for my loved ones.
I DO have some habits I want to change… being a better wife and going to bed instead of crashing on the couch. More exercise, less clutter, less TV (oh no-giving up Judge Judy & Milian!). I would like more consistency in Bible Study, a better prayer life, and to get my website up again. Quite a list to get started on-all on hold til I get back home to Jersey of course.
OK enough about me! May the Lord bless you MORE in this coming year! What ONE thing are you hoping to accomplish?