06 Jun

Setback -> Reset!

Romans 7:15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

Wow! I can’t believe it’s been about five months since I last posted here! Needless to say, I’m back! Revived, resuscitated, and ready to move forward.
So, what happened?
In my last post I mentioned that I was feeling the effects of what I thought was the flu. As a result it took me a long while to overcome it, but I did. Coupled with that, well, winter!
Being from the southwest and desert country, I have never been happy with dark gloomy frigid days. That makes me ache and hard to move around. While I’ve never been formally diagnosed, I am pretty sure I “catch” what is referred to as “S.A.D” or seasonal affective disorder. 
For me, I get a bit depressed, eat the wrong things, sleep badly, and well, just really don’t want to do much of anything except wish I were a bear and hibernate until warmer, sunnier days are more often than not.
With this depression thing, I kick myself in the butt for not doing more of the things I need to as well as all I’d like and planned to do at the beginning of the year.
I do a lot of “stinkin’ thinkin'” and “Poor me” partying. In other words, really negative thoughts about myself, my failures, my lack of purpose and direction. It’s a scary place to be!
Needless to say, with the sun, healing from physical maladies and simply slowly but surely re-igniting the POSITIVE passions that drive me, I eventually pull myself out of this funk and slowly put my feet back on the path I mapped out in the beginning of the year.
Right now, my home is in ok shape. Thanks in part to overnight family visit. Still a lot of decluttering to do but overall it’s not too bad. I’ve returned to more consistent time with my Lord which is the absolute best part. I’m reading and studying more and doing the research to get that “dream book” farther along. Now that summer TV season is here, much less of that! And while the current state of politics is still a passion, I’ve almost limited my obsession to much less. You see, when I’m in that Debbie Downer space, television is my refuge… instead of where it should be-in the Lord!
I have been pretty consistent with serving as a Host at Life.Church Online. I’m very focused on a couple of Bible studies in the book of Romans which IS a passion!! And have started working on a more regular routine for each day. Deciding what’s truly important has been a big help. Re-aligning God’s priorities with my own and actively pursuing them is the beginning of getting back to who I believe God wants me to be at this stage of life.
I’m hoping to get back to a more regular posting but can’t guarantee really. We have a couple more family events scheduled in the summer months. My beloved has about a month off in July. I’m scheduled for jury duty, AND my yearly physical exam also in July.
Writing in general is moving up the priority list as I’m hoping to start (and finish) a book. Working on the Abiding Ways website and really getting back to the primary purpose of sharing God’s word by studying not just the spiritual but also the practical. Then of course there’s all the reading I want to do, taking better care of me, and my home and husband, and last but not least drawing nearer to God, and being the best example I can to others of His love in Christ.
And so, now you know the adventure I’ve been on. I suspect that I’m not a lone ranger when it comes to such things. My hope is that by sharing, I may help someone else realize there is hope. I’d also like to hear from anyone who is or has experienced similar. Share in the comments if you like.
I’m going to be closing down the Abiding Ways Facebook group for now. I’m in the process of re-evaluating the motive, mission and vision for the ministry as a whole. Good things take time! I’ll post again, probably Friday or Saturday. Stay tuned and be sure to bookmark “Along the Way”!
The verse at the top of the post is how I was feeling. Faithful to God, Paul also provided the “cure”
 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death Romans 8:1-2
Hope you'll share with others!